Parodies no Escaflowne
by ImagineGal
Summary: A collection of Esca song parodies; everything from Pop to Broadway.
1. I Hate Van ('I Hate Men', the musical 'K...

I HATE VAN  
Dilandau  
(To the tune of "I Hate Men" from 'Kiss Me, Kate')  
  
I hate Van  
Nobody understands through what I've gone  
How would you feel if somebody you hate from the beginning  
Did something so ferocious that it just sends your head spinning  
Not only do they scar you, but it seems that they are winning  
Oh, I hate Van  
The first time we went face to face I went in for the kill  
But ever since that day my life went rapidly downhill  
And now I shall not rest until he's roasted on a grill  
Oh, I hate Van  
  
I hate Van  
I loathe each time he sees another dawn  
If only from Fanalia there'd been not one survivor  
To make things worse, the one I speak of may be its revivor  
And so I vow that for his death I must be the contrivor  
Oh, I hate Van  
He's already an enemy of Zaibach's institution  
And now that he has given to my face this contribution  
He'd better be preparing for his coming execution  
Oh, I hate Van  
  
I hate Van  
I hope that very soon he will be gone  
Everyone upon this world deserves just what they earn  
After all this I'd say that it's someone else's turn  
It could be anyone, but it's for his dimise I yearn  
Oh, I hate Van  
There isn't much left I can say to furthur express hate  
But when my moment comes I will not for one second wait  
I won't be satisfied until his head's here on a plate  
Oh, I hate Van!  



	2. Millerna ('Lucky', Britany Spears)

MILLERNA  
Hitomi  
(to the tune of "Lucky" by Britany Spears)  
  
We land in Palas  
She arrives  
With the clop clop clop of a horse  
Allen greets her  
Like a gentleman  
The scene sends me into remorse  
Oh yeah  
  
Isn't she lovely?  
Oh, she's got my man...  
And why not?  
  
She's Millerna  
Quite a girl  
She's got Allen  
Around her finger curled  
I think  
She's just trying to play with my head  
Oh, why can't she love Van instead?  
  
In the castle  
Allen talks  
With the king while I'm here with my thoughts  
I pray she'll mess up  
Do something wrong  
But all my praying is for nought  
Oh yeah  
  
She's just so perfect  
And she's got my man...  
And why not?  
  
She's Millerna  
Such a catch  
She's got looks and style  
But her words can slash  
Allen  
Please tell me what you have on your mind  
When you look in her eyes what do you find?  
  
(music. The following spoken clips are played over the music...)  
  
HITOMI  
Allen? And Millerna...?  
  
MILLERNA  
I'd throw everything away just to be with you... My father... My country...  
  
ALLEN  
Millerna...  
  
(Hitomi sings again)  
  
Isn't she lovely?  
Oh, she's got my man...  
  
She is a princess  
And Allen's a knight  
Tell me what chance do  
I have against that?  
Now the tears come at night  
  
She's Millerna  
And no more  
Just the poster child  
Of a perfect lure  
Oh God  
Please let Allen see through that pretty mask  
Or to beat her will be quite a task  
  
She's Millerna  
Quite a girl  
She's got Allen  
Around her finger curled  
I think  
She's just trying to play with my head  
Oh, why can't she love Van instead?  



	3. Mama, Don't Leave ('Family Portrait', Pi...

MAMA, DON'T LEAVE  
Van  
(to the tune of "Family Portrait" by Pink)  
  
WARNING: This is not a funny parody.  
  
Mama, please stop crying  
I can't stand the sound  
Your pain is painful  
And it's tearing me down  
I hear dragons screeching  
As I lie awake at night  
Everybody told me  
Folken just gave up the fight  
  
I just can't believe that  
He was my brother  
And he'll never come home now  
He'll never find shelter  
  
It ain't easy  
To grow up and never know  
Never know if he slayed his foe  
And so  
I will never run away  
I will never turn and go  
  
My brother died that day  
And destroyed our family  
I promise I'll be better  
Father, I'll do anything  
Can't we work out?  
Can't it be just you and me?  
I promise I'll be better  
Mama, please don't leave  
  
Mama, you're not back yet  
I can't stand the sound  
Of silence in these castle walls  
I need you around  
Merle is at my side now  
She's crying in my room  
I know Folken's death hurt you  
But remember, I love you too  
  
Did he run away that day?  
Ran from the noise, ran from his fate?  
My mind keeps going back to that place  
But it's not possible, no way  
  
It ain't easy  
To grow up and never know  
Never know if he slayed his foe  
And so  
I will never run away  
I will never turn and go  
  
My brother died that day  
And destroyed our family  
I promise I'll be better  
Father, I'll do anything  
Can't we work out?  
Can't it be just you and me?  
I promise I'll be better  
Mama, please don't leave  
  
There's a family portrait  
Hanging on the wall now  
There's four of us there  
But here I'm all alone  
I don't want to have to become king  
I don't want to be alone  
I don't want to have everything  
I just want you to come home  
  
There's a family portrait  
Hanging on my wall now  
There are four of us there  
But here I'm all alone  
There's a family portrait  
Hanging on my wall now  
There are four of us there  
But here I'm all alone  
  
Mama, don't leave. . .  
Mama, don't leave. . .  
Turn around, please. . .  
You took my shining star  
Mama, don't leave. . .  
  
It could be nicer  
Could be so much better  
To have my brother  
My father and my mother  
I'll be so much better  
I'll do everything right  
I can't stay a little boy forever  
Gotta go to sleep at night. . . 


End file.
